j1m0ne’s blog

For the past 6 months, I’ve been listening to Moetan Listening Radio; which has been a fantastic ride despite the overall suckiness of the anime itself. I’ve laughed a lot, heard plenty of bad Engrish and topped up my otaku knowledge in the process. A bit sad that it’s over, but it was best that they ended it before it got too stale.

I only ended up covering bits & pieces of the show in the end, but I did keep a running list of all the stuff I ‘learnt’ on the show.

Kojin Lesson - Oshiete Rika-sensei!
This corner consists of famous anime quotes or otaku phrases translated into Engrish by listeners, and read reaaallly badly by the seiyuu. Here’s a rundown of all the lessons, with the original phrase in Japanese (mouseover the kanji for the romanization) so us gaijin otaku can learn it in reverse:

1.I’m more interested in 3D than 2D (私は二次元よりも三次元に興味がある)
2.Totally invincible no matter what!! (どうにもこうにも絶対無敵！！)
-Line from Galaxy Angel.
3.Welcome home, master! (お帰りなさい、ご主人様！)
-Your standard maid’s phrase.
4.This is priority one! (最優先事項よ！)
-Mizuho-sensei from Onegai Teacher’s catchphrase. Is that translation even gramatically correct? I’d have thought ‘This is priority No.1′ or ‘This is the top priority’ rolled off the tongue better.
5.Ink is my wife. (いんくはオレの嫁。)
6.Death has returned from hell. (死神が地獄から舞戻ってきたぜ。)
-Quote by Duo Maxwell from Gundam Wing. Translation sounds stiff….. something like ‘The Grim Reaper has returned!!’ carries more impact perhaps.
7.Don’t you understand the beauty of absolute domain? (あなたは絶対領域の素晴らしさが分からないのか？)
-Zettai Ryoiki. And no, I don’t understand the beauty of absolute domain.
8.A miracle will happen. I’ll make it happen! (奇跡は起きます。起こして見せます！)
-From Top o Nerae! (Gunbuster) - a line by Takaya Noriko.
9.Listen! Could you hear the sound of the flag being triggered? (耳をすませ！フラグの立つ音は聞こえただろう？)
10.Oh mountains! Oh galaxies! Listen to my song! (山よ！銀河よ！俺の歌を聞けえぇー！)
-A line by Basara Nekki from Macross 7.
11.The loli energy within me is way past critical mass. (俺のロリエナジーが臨界点を突破したぜ。)
-Thankfully the seiyuu didn’t read it as clitical.
12.The internet is so vast. (ネットは広大だわ。)
-A line by Kusanagi Motoko from Ghost In The Shell.
13.If I have a girl, I’ll name her Ink. (女の子が生まれたら、名前はいんくにしよう。)
-Er NO. That would just leave the poor kid cursing me for the rest of my life.
14.After this battle is over, I’m getting married. (俺、この戦いが終わったら、結婚するんだ！)
-Death flag line.
15.Keep your gameplay at an hour a day. (ゲームは1日1時間！)
-A famous phrase coined by Takahashi Meijin imploring kids to not play games til they dropped dead ^^;
16.Portside, what’s going on? I ordered a heavy artillery barrage! (左舷、弾幕薄いよ、なにやってんの！)
-Line by Bright Noa from Gundam. That actually sounds pretty cool in English.
17.Saving a girl from a drunk doesn’t mean she’ll fall in love with you. (電車でよっぱらいに絡まれて女性を助けても、あなたには何も感情も生まれません。)
-Reference to Densha Otoko.
18.Exciting and shiny (ワクワクテカテカ)
-VIPPER speak; wktk for short
+　　　+
∧＿∧ 　+
（0ﾟ･∀･）　　　ワクワクテカテカ
（0ﾟ∪ ∪ +
と＿_)__)+
19.You know, she’s quite a merry maiden isn’t she? (それにしても、この女のりのりである。)
-A common phrase used on Niconico Douga - You know, (s)he’s quite a (insert phrase) isn’t (s)he?
20.This is not a situation for selling things. (物売るっていうレベルじゃねぇぞ！)
-LOL. This phrase became popular thanks to a bloke screaming it in the midst of a stampede to buy the PS3. You can watch the news item with said scene on Youtube.
21.You still have a lot to work on. (まだまだだね)
-Prince of Tennis’ Echizen Ryoma’s famous Mada mada dane. Somehow, it lacks punch when translated to English. I think You’ve a long way to go sounds much better……
22.That’s Mister to you, turkey! （さんをつけろよデコスケ野郎！)
-Line from Akira. Sounds hilarious in English ^^;;
23.Rather than regret not buying something, regret it after you buy it. (買わないで後悔するより、買ってから後悔しろ。)
-Does that not sound like the thoughts of many of us otaku after unwrapping figures that look retarded?
24.Earth…it’s been so long… (地球か・・・何もかもみな懐かしい・・・)
-Line by Captain Okita from Uchuu Senkan Yamato.
25.This anime is extremely popular with those who have special tastes. (このアニメは特殊な趣向を持つ人間にとても人気がある。)
-i.e. Moetan and lolicons.
26.Don’t expect this to be over in 3 months. There’s still a chance for Part 2. (1クールで終わることはない。そう、第二期と言うものがあること忘れんな！)
-Surely that’s not referring to Moetan.
27.Heeheehee. I’ve got something for that. (ふっふっふ。こんなこともあろうかと。)
-Sounds like a witch’s line……
28.Revive spells are different. (復活の呪文が違います。)
-Somehow….. that translation looks completely off. The line is originally from the Super Famicom versions of Dragon Quests I & II, which used password systems to save your progress. The only problem was that DQI’s save password was 20 characters long, and DQII’s a whopping 52 characters long, and it was all in hiragana. So, depressingly if you got it wrong the message above would pop up and….well. You’d go and cry in the corner ^^;;; I think something like You Sad Fool. You Copied The Password Wrong And Now You’ll Have To Start All Over Again HAHAHAHA is a better translation (Actually, it’s more like Your Spell of Restoration is WRONG. Du-du-du).
29.Substituting before or after multiplying is just absurd. (掛け算の前後を入れ替えるなんてとんでもない！)
-BL phrase. I remember that during this episode, Morinaga had to explain to Tomatsu about seme & uke and the former fretted over whether she would get scolded by Haruka-tan’s manager as she’s still underage (17-years old).
30.The biggest problem is whether or not they show that anime in the area you transfer to. (転勤先でそのアニメがネットされているかどうかが最大の問題だ。)
-Seriously…. I have no clue what the hell they’re saying in the English version. Basically it’s making fun of the fact that certain stations in certain prefectures in Japan showed the full Moetan transformation scenes & fanservicey stuff whilst others used ribbons or smoke or whatever it was to cover bits up.
31.Leave this place to me. You go on ahead! (ここは俺に任せて行け！)
-Another typical death flag.
32.There ain’t no one inside. (中の人などいない！)
-For some reason, the first thing that came to my mind was Bonta-kun from FMP?Fumoffu.
33.After everytime she introduces herself, the crowd follows up with ‘Hold on a second’. (彼女は自己紹介の後に、いつも「おいおい」というツッコミを受ける)
-A reference to Inoue Kikuko’s infamous ‘Inoue Kikuno, 17-sai desu, Oioi!’.
34.Wait! This is a trap set by Koumei! (待て！これは孔明の罠だ！)
-Koumei as in Shokatsu Koumei aka Zhu Ge Liang who liked to set traps to catch his enemies - things like the Stone Sentinel Maze.
35.There’s no way that should be thrown out! (それをすてるなんてとんでもない！)
-Another reference to Dragon Quest and failed attempts to throw items away.
36.Blonde hair and pigtails are important elements. (金髪ツインテールは重要な要素です。)
-There was a little chat about how the word ‘Twin tail’ didn’t exist in proper English.
37.Currently, moe characters are driven by the two main forces of tsundere and tsurupeta. (現在に置ける萌えキャラクターの二大勢力はツンデレとつるぺたである。)
-Tsundere, no explanation needed. Tsurupeta - smooth & flat.
38.Damn! The steam’s in my way! (ちくしょう！湯気は邪魔だ！)
-Another reference to censorship.
39.He works for the sole purpose of going to the biennial Comiket. (彼は年二回のコミケのために仕事をしている。)
40.All of my dreams are stuffed in my hard drive, but I can’t show them to my parents. (俺のハードディスクには夢がたくさん詰まっている、しかし親には絶対見せたくない。)
41.He’s got an anime character painted on his car. (彼の愛車にはアニメキャラが描かれている。)
-Referring to itasha, obviously.
42.These days, the number of anime and aniradio is unusually large. (昨今のアニメとアニラジの数は以上。)
43.Ego, that it is. (エゴだよそれは！)
-Line by Char Aznable from Gundam: Char’s Counterattack. WTF is that Engrish??
44.Join me, and I will give you half the world. (もし、お前が私の仲間になるのなら、世界の半分をお前にやろう。)
-Another Dragon Quest reference. This time, it’s a line by DQI’s final boss Dragonlord.
45.Our fight is from here on. (俺たちの戦いはこれからだ！)
46.There’s an important message at the end of the program. (番組の最後に大事のお知らせがあります。)
47.Christmas is cancelled this year. (今年のクリスマスは中止になりました。)
-A retaliation by sad, lonely otaku aimed at couples.
48.The winter Comike marks the end of the year. There’s no way I’m catching a cold! (冬コミは今年の〆を飾るもの。風なんて引いていらねぇ！)
49.Big breasts are big cos they are crammed with everyone’s dreams. Flat chests are small cos they give everyone dreams. (巨乳にはみんなの夢が集まっているから大き。貧乳はみんなには夢を与えるから小さい。)
-That left me in stitches the first time I heard it. The fact that Morinaga & Tomatsu both professed to having given all their dreams away made me laugh even more.
50.At year’s end, shake hands with me in Ariake. (年末は、有明で僕と握手。)
51.She’s not wearing panties. (パンツははいてない。)
52.You can’t just become an otaku, it’s something that happens naturally. (オタクはなるものじゃない！気づいたらなってるものだ！)
-A sly poke at Tomatsu, who prior to hosting the show had no idea what yuri was or what a ‘flag’ meant.

Easy Conversation
This corner is where Tomatsu and Morinaga attempt to converse with native English speaker Patora-tan about a given topic (say, holidays in Japan or the type of guys they like etc) - the catch is of course that Patora can’t understand any Japanese.

They’d spent 26 weeks going around in circles, with neither party seemingly able to comprehend the other. Or so it seemed - during the last episode Patora had a special message for both the seiyuu and listeners.

こんにちわ。あたし、日本語喋れます。I’m sorrry!! (laugh) ごめんなさい！(amidst hysterical shrieking from Tomatsu) しかも、名前もちゃんとあります。田中あやのです。
Translation: Hello. I…. can speak Japanese. I’m sorrry!! And… I have a name - I’m Tanaka Ayano.

SHIT. I didn’t realise either… USO DAAAA!!! I just thought she was some wacky exchange student in Japan who was hopeless at languages *_* The listeners weren’t the only ones who were fooled, both Tomatsu & Morinaga were in complete shock. And pretty distressed over the fact they’d spent 26 weeks trying (and mostly failing) to communicate with Patora-chan in broken English, when she could actually understand most of what they were saying.

Apparently, all the radio staff and even Patora/Tanaka herself had put maximum effort into hiding the truth for over the 6 months just for that one moment of seeing the shock on the duo’s faces ^^;; Morinaga whimpered “Patora-chan even talked to me in English when we went to the station together…”

I think you can still download the whole show on torrent somewhere, and it’s well worth getting if just for the laughs.

Posted on January 1st, 2008 under moetan, radio • RSS 2.0 feed • Leave a response, or trackback